I try as often as possible to write in a journal, but I keep them in a notebook never to be looked at again. You could say that the reason I create is about the journey or the process, so I want to preserve all of the process I possibly can. Instead of writing some thoughts to myself, I'll start putting them here. That's what a blog is for, right?
Hank Moody, in the first episode of Californication, comes to Los Angeles and introduces himself in a pretty interesting way. "I'm a writer, non-practicing." Or something to that effect. This quote struck me, because I feel this way a lot, especially lately. When I'm introduced to someone, or should someone decide to label me, I'm called a photographer. Now, I'm fine with that, and it's not inaccurate. Yes, I do a 365 project, and have a photo every day, yet, I've been working on autopilot. I let the shots happen, don't take risks, and haven't really been planning out my photos day to day.
Whatever. I can beat myself up about and blog about how much of a failure I've been all day long. But really, beating myself up about doesn't really solve the problem for too long does it? Fact is, maybe I don't want to doom myself to forever be labeled a photographer. A year ago, I predicted I'd be pretty dedicated to the whole freelance thing and just do that. Then, I started picking up all kinds of other stuff. I started writing more, drawing, and even podcasting. A year ago, I would do a fine job at freelance, I know I'm a good photographer. But I knew I was on the edge of something bigger than just photography, some sort of huge creative breakthrough that defines the path I choose.
Photography is the thing that's gonna get me to the other thing. It opened up this whole world to me.
The 365 is more than just a photo a day, it's a thing a day, it's everything I do. I've been trying to be too much in the middle, half average photography freelancer, and half content creator. There has to be a balance. So lately, I've been doing less photography than ever, but I don't feel like it's a waste. Maybe I'm crazy, maybe I'll never figure it all out. All I gotta do is keep making stuff.
For now, I'm a photographer, non-practicing. (More or less)