I've been slowly cleaning out my house and getting rid of the general uselessness I keep around. I have a HUGE and I really mean huge (yuge) pile of film from as far back as 6 years ago that I have yet to develop. I'm making my way through that pile slowly, and I've found photos from 3 years ago on this weird red film I was trying out a while back.
Not only that, but I also developed some 120 film from our trip to Miami two years ago, which makes me want to go to the beach so bad it hurts.
The above is a photo of our friend's childhood cat that was born in the 90s and is still alive today. Never met a cat that old before.
I'm hoping to mail off some more film this week, developing can get expensive and I don't have the time to do it myself much anymore. Maybe I'll have more throwbacks that I forgot about next week again.
It was my birthday earlier this week, and I started getting real existential about everything now that I'm so old. Like, guys, you don't even understand how old I am now.
My mom and I have some great conversations because we enjoy many of the same things. Things just make sense when we talk them out, like world issues for example. I told her about my thoughts on climate change yesterday which can be boiled down to the fact that I really don't care if it's real or not, I'm not going to lose sleep over it.
While yes, it sounds apathetic, but if you are being honest with yourself, you probably feel the same way, you're just not going to admit it. I don't want to steal my mom's blogging thunder here (she said she was going to blog about this soon), but she expressed her exhaustion for how many things that we are supposed to be "aware" of today. Everyone is out to "raise awareness" for things, when at the end of the day, it's truly impossible to care about EVERY LITTLE SOCIAL ISSUE. People want to claim that they care about everything, but only because it's uncool to say they actually don't.
We can't care about everything in this age of too much information, but we are told that we have to care about everything because our lives depend on it. All this "raising awareness" and facebook political wars are really only a clever way we've found to distract from our own problems and issues. If everyone just dealt with their own crap, the world would be a much better place.
I don't care if climate change is real or not because I know that this world is only temporary, but I still believe I need to be a good steward anyway. Just because I don't lay awake at night reading Al Gore's books by candlight (a man who probably puts more carbon emissions into the air than anyone else), doesn't mean that I'm pouring gasoline in the streets.
I've got a family to care about, friends, and my own personal junk that I have to deal with. God put me where I am right now to deal with what I need to deal with, and all I can do is the best I can do. (Besides, have you met a climate change "warrior" that actually does anything useful for the world?)
The above is a "willstill" from a vlog that I'll probably never upload, but this is all to say that I have finally got into the habit of regular fitness again. In fact, on my birthday, I ran the fastest mile I've ever run before. At the beginning of the year I started waking up at 5am every day and running regularly, and it's almost May and I'm still waking up super early and exercising. It makes a big difference in how I feel, and I'm kind of addicted to it now.
I've had some pretty big bouts with depression over the years, and they usually root from inaction. The less I do, the more bummed out I get. The busier and more tired I am from moving constantly, the happier I am. It's no coincidence that over the past few months I've been exponentially happier than I ever have before. Life is good and I'm grateful for everything I have because I really don't deserve any of it.
Here's the fun junk:
I watched the Fargo Season 3 premiere this week and boy was it incredible. It's been a while since I've been hooked like that on a show. It's holding up my theory that we are going through a McGreggor-sance much like our McConaugh-y-sance a couple years ago.
I also started Five Came Back on Netflix about 5 directors proximity to WWII. I'll probably finish the 3 episode series this weekend, because I think it's really important for today. It shows Hollywood's involvement in war and you can't help but think about how lost Hollywood and culture is in regards to patriotism and caring for one's country. People left their jobs in Hollywood to go help with the war effort, and I can't imagine that level of heroism today. Highly recommend this.
I finally got to see the incredible T2: Trainspotting, and I wrote about it here.